I don’t make New Years resolutions. I have the belief that it sets you up to fail. You made the resolution to lose 20 pounds and you didn’t achieve it. How does that make you feel? It made me feel like a failure. So no resolutions for me. Now I have yearly themes. I know it’s weird, but I embrace the weird. Last year was the year of the Tiger and I flopped on that. Am I going to beat myself up? Nope. This year’s theme: Being Brave.

So what does it mean to be brave.

According to Mirriam Webster the definition of brave is: having the mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty. Having or showing courage.

That definition says a lot. Do I consider myself brave? Not really. For some reason my friends think I am. Go figure.

What am afraid of? What is instilling this lack of bravery on my part?

I know I’ve written about this before. But for some reason it just sneaks up on me and says, “I’m baaaaack.” And I say a not-so-nice word and struggle through it again. After this revalation, I decided this is the year I need to be brave. I made mental list of things I need to work on.

One thing is music. I’m not very brave where my music is concerned. I am a self-taught bass player. I know I could be better than I am. Am I afraid to be better? Maybe. Probably. Okay fine. It’s a yes. Why? Have no clue. It’s really silly if you think about it. Why would I be afraid of being able to play my instrument? Why would I be afraid of improving my skills? I gave myself that face I give when my husband tells me a dad joke.

I bought a Udemy class in 2020 that I had planned to take while quarantined. Did I do it? No. Have I started? Kind of. What I need to do is pull up my big girl panties and be brave. So I’m getting out of my own way and am going to a better bass player.

I don’t get outside of my comfort zone very often. It’s way to scary. I have a problem putting myself out there in any way shape or form, which is why I’m not on the New York Times best seller list.

My sister is an extremely talented photographer. This year for my birthday, she wanted to do a photoshoot with me. I was like, “That would be so much fun!” We had a hard time getting together. You know how life sometimes gets in the way of fun. Finally, our schedules freed up a the same time and it was on the calender. I don’t normally wear makeup, but my photoshoot included hair and makeup. That part was fun. Getting in front of the camera scared the hell right out of me. But this is my year of being brave, and I took a the plunge. The pictures turned out great! But spending time with my sister – priceless.

Okay. Here comes the big one – writing. I love finding stories in the everyday. Seeing the magic in the world and telling a story is so fun. The first foray I did into this wonderful wacky world was to submit a couple of my pieces to an antholgy. One piece made it. It was poem titled Ponderings. I got the idea from a toilet paper commercial. It’s posted on the website if you would like to read it. https://lisahaman.com/poems-and-shorts/

I haven’t published anything since 2016. My first two stories were self-published. Were they bestsellers? No. I consider them my learning curve. I made the mistake of reading the reviews for Fat Farm. Some were constructive, but one hit me real hard. After that, I became very hesitant to put myself out there. I know not everyone is going to like everything I write. There are authors I absolutely love, but every now and then they write something that I don’t like. It’s the nature of the beast.

There are so many unfinished stories that deserve to be completed. I need to sit my happy butt in front of my computer and tell them. I need to let my characters talk to me. I need to set the stories free for people to read. My son is supposed to make origami animals out of my rejection letters. Something positive in a not so positive moment. How can I have my origami zoo if I don’t send anything out?

What have I done to be brave for this venture. I entered a first chapter writing contest. Someone, other than my friends, is going to see the first chapter of my novel. I am going to be judged. It was hard. Am I going to win? Probably not, even though it’s a good chapter. Do I want to win? Of course! But the point of entering was to be brave and send something out. We’ll see what happens.

Hopefully, I’ll be brave and keep blogging regularly on my Being Brave adventure. We can do this together, so go out and Be Brave!